EVE Online - A Widow's Perspective

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The Coffee Rocks. 

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Football widow [foot-bawl wid-oh] noun. A woman who must cope with the temporary death of her relationship during football season.

EVE widow [eev wid-oh] noun. Similar to “football widow”; however, this woman is less fortunate since her widowhood is not restricted to just the fall season – she must learn to cope year-round.

Hello. My name is Stephanie, and I have been an EVE widow for 2 years. But it wasn't always this way. You see, Coffee and I have been together for 10 years, married for 7 of those. And over the past decade there have been several mistresses: First it was Halo, then along came World of Warcraft. And yes, there were even others before he found EVE (here’s looking at you Elder Scrolls and Left for Dead).

Sure, one could argue that I should have been well aware of what I was getting in to; but there really was no adequate amount of groundwork that could prepare me for what was to come.

Here is a typical conversation that takes place when I get home from work:

Coffee: Hi Honey! How was your day?

Me: Oh, it was good – same old, same old.

…

Coffee: Guess what happened today?

(In my head: You cleaned the house? You started dinner already? You bought me something shiny?)

Me: What happened today?

Coffee: When I logged on to EVE …

(In my head: Should have known.)

Now I’m not saying my husband trying to spend every spare moment on EVE is a bad thing, although it took me a while to get to the level of understanding I am at today. I’ll admit, at first I loathed his role-playing games. I mean, we have a lot of things to get done and that honey-do list ain't gonna do itself. I guess the best way to put it would be to say that I went through my own sort of grieving process. For those who aren't familiar, there are seven distinct stages in the grieving process.

Stage 1: Shock or Disbelief

OMG. What have I done?! Did I really marry one of those, those gamers?!

Stage 2: Denial

Addicted? No, no it’s nothing like that. My husband’s not addicted to video games.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Maybe if I find a bunch of things for us to do, then he won’t think about his game so much.

Stage 4: Guilt

I shouldn't give him so much crap for all that time he spends on his game; after all, it’s his outlet, his way to let loose.

Stage 5: Anger

OK, I think he’s “let loose” enough … The trash isn't going to take itself out. The bird poop isn't going to wash itself off my car. The lawn isn't going to stop growing at exactly 1.5 inches in height.

Stage 6: Depression

My husband loves his game more than he loves me.

Stage 7: Acceptance and Hope

You know what? To each his own. It’s good that we have our own hobbies that keep us true to ourselves.

We all “grieve” in our own way. The important thing is to remember that this is a very natural process and we must work through it until that moment comes. That moment where you say, “Maybe this gaming thing isn't so bad.”

I mean, if you really think about it, it’s kind of like dropping your kid off at the sitter and you can get the things done that you want to get done without interruptions. It gives me my much needed “me time”, where I can read, do some cleaning, browse my Facebook. Heck, I even started my own blog!

And sure, there are the incessant ramblings about so-and-so getting scammed and insert-name-here pulling a total dick move. Usually these conversations – after careening on about three sub-tangents – end with me holding up one hand and asking where the heck we’re going with this story.

But there are also moments like this one from my husband’s Facebook status update circa October 23, 2012:

“Happy Birthday to my favorite person, loving wife, and all around best woman on the planet!”

Stephanie: Awww, babe! You make it sound like I hacked your account.;) (For all you readers out there, I did not). Love you!

Ryan: If you want a true test of his love: make him rename one of his best EVE spaceships after you.

Stephanie: He named a character in EVE after me, I'm the head of a corporation ... and apparently now I'm getting a ship for my birthday.

Ryan: ;) He really, really, really loves you then ...

Stephanie: Indeed.

If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

I suppose I should thank my lucky stars he’s not sitting around playing Angry Birds or Candy Crush. I like the concept of EVE. It’s about the rise and fall of industry. It’s about carefully calculated warfare. It’s about star systems and spaceships. It’s political. It’s scientific. It’s so many things that other games just aren't.

And let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like walking into the house and, for a split second, wondering why there is a deep German voice coming from your office. Then, oh yeah, TeamSpeak.

I think that’s one of the aspects I find most fascinating about the whole gaming experience. Not the deep German voices – but the fact that players around the globe can connect and coordinate their efforts to accomplish missions. I’m pretty sure that, with the exception of Antarctica, my husband has gotten to know people on every continent. How cool is that?

Sure, there are the days I worry that my husband has somehow developed Tourette's. Nothing like sitting in the dining room when all of a sudden a burst of colorful language comes barreling from within the other room. 

And there used to be a time when, if dinner was ready, I would wait for my husband to “get to a stopping point” so we could sit down and eat together. Not anymore. If dinner’s ready and he’s too wrapped up in his game, well, sorry buddy, but I’m starting without you. I will not eat my dinner cold.

And let’s not forget all those times when I think I’m having a conversation with my husband. You know, after talking for a minute or so and pause only to be greeted by silence. And only after deepening the intensity of my stare so much that my husband can literally feel my vision boring into his head does he respond with a simple, “What?” Doh! Have you heard anything I've said?!

But that’s part of the give-and-take of it all. It’s the ability to let one another be free to do the things they love. It’s about finding humor in sometimes frustrating circumstances. It’s about finding balance.

Because when it boils down to it, one fact remains: The Coffee really does Rock.

Thank you to my wonderful wife, Stephanie, for surprising me with this guest submission. She writes her own blog, titled "Mr Jackson and Me", about living large (on a tiny budget). You can also follow her on Twitter @symcatee

I love you, hunny! P.S., I'll get the dishes done tomorrow, the bat-phone is ringing...

Gudfite - The Miner - Part 2

CODE. had decided to enter our highsec systems the last couple of months. I hate to admit that we've lost the odd barge or exhumer to them due to ... less than alert reasons.

Gudfite - The Miner - Part 1

Part 1 of 2

This is how I feel about mining - a necessary, but boring as hell, chore. Graphically, I fought with this (and the follow up) Gudfite comic for a while. I even went back and rebuilt them both from the ground up... only to accidentally delete the replacements. Sigh...

It'll bug me from now until oblivion that I wanted to upgrade the graphics and failed, but it was bugging me more not getting them up on the site. So, here they are!

Villains and Angels in EVE Online

My last post was about one of the more infamous aspects of playing EVE Online - scamming. Always controversial for the community that is EVE, scamming is seen as a form of game play by CCP and is protected as such - as long as the scammer does not violate the TOS, of course. It doesn't take very long to look through EVE Online's Forums to find some great stories, rage, and calls to ban scamming, which just goes to show how many out there are utilizing this form of game play as a means to farm ISK. I have always been very vocal that I do not care for scamming (I believe that it is a quick way to scare off new players as they are the easiest victims to prey on, often unknowingly to the scammer), and I go so far as to ban my Corp members in participating in scamming in any form. That said, I actually agree with CCP that it should be allowed. I may not personally condone it and do not want that behavior associated with myself, but I also do not have sympathy for anyone who does not have the sense to beware a deal too good to be true. Sorry, but it's true - if you're gonna be stupid, you better be strong.

But being a scammer is just one art of villainy in EVE Online. The Mittani has probably been called every sour name in the book, from Mob Boss to whiny scumbag. Likewise, you have Cannibal Kane - a self-described "terrorist" preying on anyone and everything that tickles his fancy with brutal, artistic efficiency. There are Psychotic Monk and the Belligerent Undesirables, whose sole mission is to fill their corp's hangers with ALL the tears, who constantly wardec industrial corps, gank anything that comes across their guns, and are some of the best Awoxers in the game. You also have CODE., the mini-empire of James315 whom solely harass and kill Highsec miners. You have Burn Jita, Hulkageddon, and Ice Interdiction, oh my! EVE truly seems to be a scary place, after all.

To the casual observer or the pessimistic player, EVE Online seems to be a universe where the most evil, chaotic players triumphantly rule over the passive, the weak, the stupid, and/or the peaceful. I am here to tell you that - in EVE as in real life - it simply isn't true.

You are quick to say "But Coffee, you JUST posted a blog about how a poor player was scammed out of his ISK and nothing was done!". Well, dear reader, that simply isn't true either. As far as I know, the scammer was never punished and CCP has not given their thoughts on an external website scamming ISK. That said, however, angels exist in this game that will swoop in and bestow blessings upon the unfortunate. I was contacted a few short days after linking that blog piece on the EVE Forums by player Reileen Kawahara who donated the entire 150,000,000 ISK loss to the victim. I spoke in length with Reileen, and have added them to my growing list of  "good people in EVE". In that one conversation, I got the feeling that Reileen and I seem to have the same outlook on gaming styles, especially when it comes to looking out for other players that need a hand.

But Reileen is just one person compared to the legions of evil, slimy baddies, right? Look, I can seriously spend the next year writing blog after blog about all the acts of charity in EVE Online that would completely dwarf the stories of acts of evil. If you look around, you'll find some amazing things that people invest loads of time, money and hard earned ISK just to benefit other EVE players. Here's just a few examples:

Sindel's Angel Project
Vaerah Vahrokha's ISK-to-Charity relief fund initiative
PLEX for GOOD
Mourning Vile Rat and donating to his family
Players giving loads of gifts away (way, way too many to link)
Chribba Fucking Veldspar (you heard bells tinging when you read his name, didn't you?)

Hell, even the so-called "villains" in EVE can't help themselves from helping their fellow EVE players from time to time. Notorious scammer Erotica1 was my first introduction to what having a "spy" in your corp meant in EVE Online. Despite losing my very first ship and pod to his alt (in my first month of playing while in an industrial corp, if I remember right), he took the time to pull me aside and explain what went wrong for me. We talked for a little while about his scamming conquests, my horrible ship fitting and some tips on the game in general. He then contracted my drops back to me and then my wallet flashed - 100 million ISK! "That should help you get started in EVE o7," he said, then flew off to find more victims.

Obviously if I advocate this type of behavior I better be walking-the-walk, right? Well, if you know me, you know I do. Since setting up Thrall Industrial, I've given away Navy Apocs and PLEX to corpies as Christmas presents (using ISK earned through speculation - I'm not rich by any means). Thrall's Director of Industry found his way into my corp after he lost his first mining barge in Lowsec. Seeing he was a newer player, I talked with him and gave him one of Thrall's loaner barges to replace his loss. Shortly after that, he asked to join and since then has been very active with us. I try to make sure that everyone's play style is respected, and work hard to see that we always have free ship hulls for members so they don't worry so much about losing their own in PvP. I've donated to Alexia Morgan's Touring New Eden corporation. I give away my ISK, my skillbooks, and my time to newbros, enemies and corpies alike.

And if you sit back and really think about it you'll realize I'm not the only one out there doing it, am I? Don't let the stories of the harsh edge of EVE online blind you to the random acts of kindness occurring every moment of the day, everywhere in this game.

Website Scams EVE Player

A couple of months back a player asked for my advice. While he was in the Amarr trading hub he noticed a player advertising an external website that offers ships for purchase (for ISK of course). He asked if I knew anything about the website and I admitted that I had never heard of it, but to obviously be wary of anything posted in Local chat in the trade hubs. For those who have heard of the website (or saw the article’s title), you already know where this story is going.

Before you get excited about decent pricing and free delivery, you should probably read on.

The player linked the website to me and we both looked for information on it. The website is EVE-Bazaar.com. A quick Google search did not reveal any obvious scam reports, nor did my inquiry with a few other friends online (they had not heard of it either). The website offers ships ranging from Battleships to Titans, Jump Freighters to Orcas, and even offers PLEX. I looked over the sell prices of the ships and compared it to my market data (Note: Data was at the time of this conversation; data may have changed since then). I remarked to the player that although the sell prices on the website were currently below the average sell prices on the markets, they were still well above the break-even points if they were being constructed using purchased minerals. Ultimately, I told the player that it was an interesting concept for an EVE-related website, but it was odd that it was all that the website seemed to do. Although it’s a different way to move your industrial alliance’s constructed goods, the cost of maintaining a website and domain name would be better served just buying straight PLEX with the same money. That statement does not even include the amount of time it can take a semi-amateur to set up and maintain the HTML and JavaScript that the site runs on, and updating it every time your back stock changes.

I eventually shrugged my shoulders and told the player that I had no idea if it was safe or not, but asked him to contact me with the results if he tried it out. A few weeks ago, he did – and the news was not good.

He had invested around 150,000,000 ISK to try it out – not a bank breaking amount, but definitely enough to hurt for a player of his character age and skill. I interviewed him via TeamSpeak and he had the following to report:

“I received an email from them informing me that I had been scammed and I would never see the ISK again. Instead, they made me an offer: for every player I helped scam, they would give me 50% of whatever they ‘earned’ from the new victim.”

Never trust a website that will "let" you "buy" a Wyvern, but not a Revenant.

The writer of the email eluded that there were more than one person in on this website scam, as he told this player that if he recruited enough people, “they would invite him to join their Corporation” and teach him their dirtiest secrets. “They tried to tempt me, but I wasn't having any part of it. I hate scammers,” the player said. The identity of the corporation or its members was never disclosed, with the exception of the in-game ISK character named "EVE-BAZAAR DOTCOM" who is in an NPC corp.

I informed the player that this was an old tactic to scam the player further. Once they have a sizable amount from you, they convince you to act as bait in order to bring in more prey. This pyramid type scheme allows the scammers to sit back and let their victims do their fishing for them, all on the promise that they’ll see riches in the end. The scammers may even give their fishermen a little bit of ISK here and there at first to tempt them to continue to work at it, but in the end they leave their victims to starve while they count their piles of ISK.

So is this tactic legitimate in the eyes of CCP’s terms of service? While scamming is frowned upon, it is absolutely condoned within the contents of the game (in certain conditions). However, since this is an external website outside of CCP’s domain, do the administrators behind this scheme violate any TOS rules? The website does not have any advertisements, money donation tabs, or ability for RMT on the site. Technically the website, although external, is only scamming ISK using the promise of in-game items. This may fall into the definition of condoned scamming.

CCP seems to be considering it themselves. The player, also unsure if the website is operating within the TOS, took the time to report the details of the crime to EVE’s customer service and they responded that they would be “investigating the matter further”. The player requested that either his ISK, or the ship, be returned from the scammer and he would be satisfied. At the time of this article’s writing, no response has been made to the player from CCP.

I also took the time to email both contact emails on EVE Bazaar and included the following message:

The author's past experience in regulations and compliance made it incredibly difficult to keep this email less than 5 pages long.

At the time of this writing EVE Bazaar has not responded to the email. However, while researching this story I was able to find an old forum post I missed the first time around. The forum post is a typical scam report with a very interesting post by a notorious scammer near the end of it. Here’s an image of that particular post to close out this story with:

This image speaks volumes about who might just be behind the website.

For those interested in donating ISK to help the victim refund his loss, you can send it to Coffee Rocks and I will see that he receives it. At this time, I have promised not to make his character name public.